Topic of the Week: Stress and Offense

I have been listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer speak on being stressed and offended.

I love how he puts it: "Why do YOU have "the right" to be stressed and offended?"

To succumb to stress and offense is basically to let your ego rule you.

What are we really saying when we say "I am stressed?"

"I am too special to have to deal with this."
"No one else has to do this."
"I am far too busy for this."
"I am far too important and have far too much to do."
"Why should *I* wait?"

Or what do we say when we are "offended?" Basically.. one thing... no matter the reason for being "offended" it boils down to one thing: "Everyone should think, do and say as *I* do."

So the feelings involved with being stressed and/or offended all point to the Ego being bent out of shape.

Letting our egos rule us basically mean we are held hostage by the ego.

Do we need to be Right, or do we need to be Kind?

I think the answer lies in how we FEEL after each.

Sure, the Ego may make us believe that we feel "good" after winning an argument, but that won't last long... the ego is always looking for ways to "win" and get ahead. And, usually.. if, after winning an arugument and unintentionally making someone else feel bad as a result of it, we will feel terrible afterwards.

But.... how do we feel after being KIND??? It is proven in scientific studies that seratonin levels are raised after acts of kindness. AND... NOT just by the one being kind. The one receiving kindness also has raised levels of seratonin. AND..... ANYONE OBSERVING THE KINDNESS also has raised levels of seratonin.

I find it interesting that there seems to be an increase in "depression" and the main ingredient in "anti-depressants" is a drug that helps raise seratonin levels. Along with diet, exercise and KINDNESS maybe we can, as a society, beat depresssion?

More Notes on Being Kind
When we are being kind we are actually showing our appreciation and gratitude. Not just to the person we are being kind to, but to LIFE. In my case, this is God. Maybe for someone else it is just society or life. Either way.... it works. :)

I also noticed this weekend that we don't need to WORK at being kind. It is no work at all. We don't have to fake it or create moments to be it. All we have to do is keep our eyes, hearts and minds open. Be observant. You will see a MILLION ways to "Be Kind." From picking up a piece of trash or putting away a wayward cart in the grocery store parking lot, to letting someone go ahead of you in line, to holding a door open for a stranger, to something as simple as just SMILING and saying "hello" to someone.

And, all the while... with NO EXPECTATIONS of favors being granted in return.

The FEELINGS I have observed within myself as I "practiced kindness" all weekend is that it feels WONDERFUL. There are no words to describe it, actually. Not that I have not been kind before this weekend. But, this weekend I chose to really FOCUS on it. To REALLY practice it. And in doing so, I realized there are a million ways to be kind that I hadn't done on a regular basis before. Doing it without the Ego is the key. To do it just because it needs to be done, not just because it is "convenient" and certainly not to lift your own ego's self-esteem.

The fact is we are rewarded when we practice true, genuine kindness. (not the forced, fake kind). We are rewarded EVERY TIME.

What is "true, genuine kindness?"
It's the kind that you do without your EGO being involved. It is the kind you do just because you see someone needs help, or something needs to be taken care of or done. You know it is true and genuine because you FEEL it. You can't explain it, you just FEEL IT. You don't do it to make yourself feel superior, or to make someone else feel helpless. You do it in a way that makes EVERYONE feel good. And, you don't care if you get recognition, and infact.... you would prefer you DIDN'T get recognition as that would take away from the genuineness of it.
When we practice kindness like that we win EVERY TIME. And, society WINS. EVERY TIME.